Friday, December 31, 2010

a love note to Stewart 4

A smile that radiates from my unwell face
is because of you Sweetheart.
Thank you for the times
when i felt like a scragged moss
on a painted rocks,
you were there
to give me a lot of reason
to get in touch with reality again.
In this waiting room
where temptations are everywhere,
you are my word,
you are my  light,
you are  everything I ever wanted.
And this something
I have given you
and you in turn took from me,
explodes and creates lovely levels
of undefined feelings within me.
At times like this when its hard to breath,
when fever weakens me,
I am so lucky to have you taking care of me.
Making sure that i won't feel like a jaded waste of food
but a precious pearl worthy to hold.
Your princess,
yes Sweetheart,
I am your princess
and with you..
because of you...
always i am grateful.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

a love note for Stewart 3

The tenderness in your kisses speaks such love.Something i look forward to the next day.To gaze into your eyes and melt in your arms are things that remind me how lovely is the world.My love,with you i've reach the unreachable.Living is worthy to live because I have your hand to hold,your face to caress and your heart and soul to embrace.My day is ever glowing when spending it with you,my night is always spellbinding when you're in it.See baby,nothing can stop happiness to reign my world all because of you...You and your eternal love.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

a love note for Stewart 2

The birds freely fly
Doing some tricks and stunts
On the swaying leaves
Leveled to the rooftop
Of the archaic building
Here in the Chinese University

And slowly
In a single sigh
Of sadness
That the Mother Earth releases,
My heart pounds faster

I blink and suddenly
My world is covered with blankets
Thick rolling blankets of molten rocks
Thousands  of degrees of chaos
Woven from the mouth of his Highness

Crystal tears rolling down
Tracing my fiery cheeks
The clashing of two elements
On my angry face
Creates steam of deep thoughts

And I dial my sweetheart's number
Gently I inhale serenity within
My love,In the total darkness where
My eyes are of little use
He is the light that guides me through..

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Banquet (Part 1)

Second by second
Step by step
Heartbeat by heartbeat
I enterd the door
And suddenly i was lost
In a world i haven't been before

Inch by inch
A smile from an unknown man
Turned into a warm smile
It welcomed me at the entrance
Of the Zetland Hall.

So unnbriddled were my feelings
And intensed was the turbulence
That set ablaze in my every nerves
Although it was three degrees that night.

I passed the table of ladies and gents
Drinking wines,laughing
Waiting for the others

I walked in silent feet
On the other side of the table

I never knew why my heart 
My stupid heart throbs odd that night
Making my feet froze in my shoes
Until I was invited to the light
And joined the ladies on the other table
The natural art of my essence flows normally
With every zip of white wine
Little by little i felt fine

Time creeps but even the word time itself,
I totally forgot 
As i indulged myself to the splendid,
gratifying conversations with Andrea
And with ever cordial and soft-spoken Julia
with a glass of wine...

And all my love burned
When in a glance I spotted him
Oh,but my all,the love of my life
Everything stopped except him smiling at me
And the rhapsodic song began to play

Introductions came but hey!
I forgot the names of some
After the roasting, melting hugs and kisses
From the love of my life

Hand in hand we entered the banquet hall
Oh! But heaven only knew the balls of  crystal bliss
Glistening at the tip of my brows.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

a morning note for my Sweetheart

Ask what makes a lady like me love you the way i do?

It's in the effervescent laughs..
It's in the serene smiles...
It's in the satisfied breathing...
that i do
in those moments when i give you my heart
Sweetheart,you will find the answers there.

Haven't you noticed the rays 
beaming from the core of my eyes...
especially when i see you glow
and hear your merry hee-haw...

Every little thing that we do
like having a pizza at home
or eat in a classy restaurant...
Sweetheart,makes this young lady
loves an old man like you
Million times than you will ever know

And please don't get on your knees
to apologize the times that you had lived without me
for Sweetheart,i have a lifetime to tell you

You will never age in my eyes
and my heart will keep our love young.

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Serenity resides in me
As your eyes sketch me in
the most dazzling scene
Glinting at the end of your eyebrows
And when your lips starts to depart
You made me feel beauteous
You called me name,Sweetheart
Slowly i melt in the glamorous,
Inviting pleasantries of your voice
Like no one ever could before
Somehow tide shows i did the apt choice
And I could ecstatically savor
How your love made all things low-key
Laying me in the terrain of tranquility.

For the Anchor of My Soul

I am remarkably gleaming in the dark

Holding this exquisite feeling,like my last attempt to soar believing,

Someone has finally decided to take

The flight to heaven with me

To see the repartee amidst darkness

And took me to a beatified walk into moonlight

Beyond the fences of our dreams we saw

A beautiful view,the moment our eyes meet.

For all the love

I thank you sweetheart

For the compelling feeling we have while facing the river

For my lengthy,black hair swaying in your breath

Every time you leaned forward and whisper in my ears "I love you"

For all the time you gaze at me and the moon lurch out

For the flame of passion you wrap around me

Every moment you made me feel it's valentines' day

My fresh dew,in the grass,for all seasons;

A flowing stream of stillness and calm;

My love,sometimes i can't believe you're real

God gave you to me to turn to

And you to need me to love

He handed me a handsome King

For me to gently put on my soft sweet wings

Everything took a turn for the better.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Annex of Reverence

I think I am;
so in-love.
a glowing rose bud on a healthy stem.
Notice my existence.
Far beyond my radiance.
Is beautiful;magical.
Somewhere in the busy street not an ordinary lady
but,an exemplary love.
A love that cheers everyone around
in their  stygian and tumultuous times.
an explicit homo sapien.
benefactor of paradise.
the product of heavenly dreams.
A river of fidelity.

and sweetheart

All I have;
is happiness.
Enigmatic confidence.
by your fervent essence.

But am I really this inlove?
This shiny pearl from the shell
You gaze at me as.
A venus with the crown of stars.
Could this be substantive;
or is it a make-believe.
I am being held high.

Inside the Indian Restaurant:
At the loving table,we stare
to the future that awaits us
valuing gravity;
they save vitalizing me.

I believe 
I'm too passionate
So poetical,high blown
to notice the brittle aeons of mortals.
either intangible or virtual expo.
Sense my words
Explore my world
Floral chart and skilled sketch.

Utterly stunning
With all the pleasant adjective to state
And if the darts of vile words attack
none would stain my sweet ambrosia
as I am;
to the nth degree
in love.

And my entity:
is a 
glowing rose bud
on a healthy 
with redden petals.
You are air;
my breath
You are sun;
my light
eternal love.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

a love note to STEWART 1

I love you my love...for thousand times,for million times the clouds walk in the sky over night and over day.I love you in countless countless times.In times when time itself freezes when I look at your face as you smile(that gives me so much joy),in times when your breathe became mine,until time will bring me to my grave someday,the love i have for you will remain awake.Through ages,it will bloom on summer,on autumn,on winter through spring...Because it is what my love is...for you.Timeless.And as long as my heart feels the very gentle blow of oxygen:a kiss of your love's sincerity,in the vastness of nothingness,i will rise up as a burning phoenix.Glowing.In my eyes,you will remain the most handsome man with the heart that i would willingly kiss for its goodness.

Stewart, you will never age in my eyes because I LOVE YOU...I ADORE YOU.To my last embrace,to my last kiss and to my last breath,You will be the only one...for my eyes,your home.For all times you will be my love...

Friday, November 26, 2010

Sweet Destiny

I watch you sleep so still
And slowly my heart fills
My marrow with the scent of your love
A very special gift from above
I am swimming in the sweetness of your smile
My thoughts wandering on the golden aisle
Seeking beauty of endless bliss
As fresh as the rejuvenating daisies
Twenty,forty...years and more
A sweet incense euphoria none will ignore
While the world is yawning under the pale moonbeams
Here i am watching all my nirvanic dreams
Turn into reality as i touch your face
Here in our world where no devil races
Only angels singing ethereal symphony
And a love formed in purity...our sweet destiny.

My Mom

Everyone feels such emptiness:the void
dimmed the sky and confused the earth.

No one was spared from the hell on earth.

Emptiness speaks,
harshly to me,
a bitter kiss,
a pale star
where moments
cold blood rushing,
deadening time table
and dummied fears.

None have witnessed
until my irregular
inhaling and exhaling
of the polluted
were leading me to ruin
with cyclones of emotions
suffocating me in the library
of woes and blues;
books veiled
by the void.

Until my mom was there
the sun set
beyond its limit
and filled the void.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Young Victims of Sex Trade

While the world is busy
Rotating madly on its axis
They were stacked in a half-dozen high,
Concrete cages,

Waiting for their turn
To be exploited,

Innocent girls as young as five
Trapped on the blockade of no-more dreams
Where their blood-curdling screams
Were persecuted inside them
Of being heard...

Behind those walls are painful cries
Pleas (for education),
Fears (for self worth),
Traumas (for AIDS...for Alienation)
Have you seen/heard/felt them?

They were there...
God knows what they feel...

The trembling of their knees
The first time the lining of their dreams
Were sliced evilly...

The nipples of their hopes
Brutally clawed by the beast
Of different races
In less than ten hours

They were there...
Penning their blues in the wind
The words behind their silent weeping
In every excruciating night

Nights and days of drowning
In the language of the sex trade
And not a ghost of a chance
The eons of light invade
Their infant lamenting souls

God knows what they feel
They were there...

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Dear Rain


Her miniscule of hope
by the  angry sea of lawlessness.

Her rights of existence
no matter what she did
to fight.

She came with pure intentions
to work in a foreign land
no agendas of hostility...
essence rationalized..

but then...

take the cloth of her penitence
smell the sweat and tears mixed,
inhale its scent into the best part of you

and feel...
the chain of aches
attached to it.

Be the burning witness,
be her voice when she wants to fret
while handwashing the blood stain
stick to her employer's undies

Be the voice when she hold back her tongue
to speak out her heart
everytime they scold her,
abuse her..tear her apart...

free of restraint,
free to be free,
carry the pearls from her eyes
to the sea...

To the sea where she bank many of the black pearls
produced by her weary eyes
Most of them were breed
by her cold-hearted employers;
the equity stealers.

Sense her Rain
and note her fears as she walk,
she feebly walk
on the labyrinth
of daily, deadly nightmares.

Cleanse her inner sense
wash away other's brash pretence
that cost their souls a cent,
cleanse it away...away from her...

As you keep pouring,Rain
please whisper to her..

Never surrender,
Don't quit,
Don't fall,
Don't fall...

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Bloody Diwali(Festival of light)

Deepavali (also spelled Divali in few countries) or Diwali, popularly known as the festival of lights, is an important five-day festival in Hinduism, Jainism Sikhism, and occurring between mid-October and mid-November. For Hindus, Diwali is the most important festival of the year and is celebrated in families by performing traditional activities together in their homes. Deepavali is an official holiday in IndiaNepalSri LankaMyanmarMauritius,Guyana,Trinidad & Tobago,MalaysiaSingapore,and Fiji.

Diwali is a festival Of Light.Of Good over Evil.Of Widom.Of Consciousness.Of Enlightenment.Of Truth.Of Spiritual Victory.Of Revolution.

Now that Diwali is being celebrated,people cant help remembering the two teenage girls who were victims of brutal gang attack by villagers for the reason that they werent escorted when they visited the homes of some boys, to share sweets and light crackers.They were stoned, and hacked with machetes and axes. As they lay unconscious and bleeding, they were doused with gasoline and burnt alive. The entire community then participated in a conspiracy of silence to hide their crime.

View the story on :

THE BLOODY DIWALI (festival of lights)

By the road near their hauses
they were dragged by their peers,
their own blood,their co-villagers
that laugh off their painful tears.

The sky was dark and the sun was gone
but all could be get wind of and see
none had heared their scream and shout
except the one winged-bee.

If only dreaming of Avalon
or the virgin spring of Eden
can ease their tears,their pains,their fears
but hell controls their fading brain.

Five,six,ten who knows
how many stones hammered their knees,
how many wounds from axes and machetes
who knows how dreadful they can be.

At their last cry of discomfort
their final gasp of mortal air
their poor swollen bodies doused with gasoline,
were burnt alive...seeking justice,somewhere.

Somewhere where flowers freely bloom
where no cries of injustice upsets the day
where they could break the bars of gloom
and say: "I am free,I am free!".

Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Poem for Rizana Nafeek (A Sri Lankan domestic worker sentenced to death by beheading in Saudi Arabia)

Today the sky cast
a different shade of blue
Dimness, daylight, doves and tears
tells me I must do something for you,

Precious Rizana,my fellow Overseas Contract Worker,
lend me your ear as I speak,
hear the words from my heart that cares
to share your unfathomable throes.

I care for you
and the cries of your heart,
your adolescent heart that never
fully experienced the freedom of a teenager
because of poverty, hunger...

You embraced the responsibility that somehow
belongs to your parents but I know,
I truly understand it all;
the pain behind the sentiments between cycle and role
of poverty...

Behind those bars,
inside those walls
I can see you;
A lone white dove
with fractured wings
that was never taught to sing
sentenced to death…….
By the most barbaric means

How heartbreaking is that scene?
You left your home for your family
and there you lay with a cold blank stare
away, so, so far away from home,
inside that cold prison, wither
by the fear, sorrow, pains, longing
of a daughter to hug her mother
of a daughter to kiss his father
of a sister....
that will soon became part of the history?

As the air grew thin
with the smell of death and fear
I felt the freezing cold
rushing through my veins
upon holding the rugs and brooms
both arduous and distressing
as tears escape twin streams of my soul.

I saw the executioner on my pc screen,
the rituals,
the swords,

I heard and listened to his testimony
word by word
like cutting daggers pressed into my heart.

So is this how it’s going to end?

Visions of sky turned black
as the twilight came
and the concluding curtain fell
for you..
at a very young age,
a hero to her family,
to the OCW's...
is so unacceptable. cruel…

I will pray for you
I, Airyn

Monday, October 25, 2010

Missing Home,Missing Philippines (From the heart of a Domestic Worker)

Fragrant joy
of better days

Here i am again
Trying to relive the sweet memories
of me and my family,

Here i am..
hurting more and more,
fading away like a word
from the lump of the world,
dimming away from the lights
of the only lamp hanging tonight
on the roof of the earth.

Such pain I pulled
out my painful days,my painful days...
they were devoured with pain...

On this cutting time,
the inimicable
of the wind's wave,
drags me to the core of te darkness.

My exhausted hands
the only spiraling lights
from the memories of better days...
Gone! the hardships that i had whispered
and carried out to the wind
the one that they easily forgotten
cast...left to the unknown

Gone...gone were those days
i felt like I'm a best kept secret
or a spider hunting,
phoenix rising...

for i was left alone;
a tangled helpless fly,
a mouse clutched in its claws...
ojust a filthy lie...

Lie,such a sad word
I lied if i say,"im okay"

I am trapped among the debris
that humanity ardently embraces
in twisted virtue abd principles...

Since the day the sole of my feet touched
the busy land of Hong Kong
until now...
I am nothing...

Yes,I am nothing to the one's
who never heared my cries
but rather rejoice,feasting while
drinking the wines of their Gods-Carlo Rossi,
working to death,
stuck in the darkness...
But i know...

Within this darkness lies the rays of the moonlight
illuminating the picture of my aunt,
my siblings and my father...

Back in our little home,
in my beloved homeland:

In there I am everything!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

By the River of Shatin

I found no darkness tonight
for you are sitting next to me...

Most precious breath of the night;
Mi Amor,
I am inhaling you inside me...

The sound of your voice;
My love,
penetrates my deep cuts;
cleansed them by its spellbinding ways...

On this parapsychological night
strange indeed,but

I astonishingly found myself
placed so gentle in a moment
well-founded than the Order of the Garter.

Oh love,heavens bless us tonight!
Each nerves,each bones of mine
performs its task in harmony with my heartbeat,
so gentle everytime your mellow touches fill me.

Just looking st you tonight,
each facet of your being
is an enthrallment...

Everytime your zealous eyes stare at me
It kindle the fire of courage in my within
to be the best woman that i can be
for you...

I am uniquely entrapped
to the echanter of such person as you
And never will i wish some metamorphosis of time...

For tonight,
from this very moment...

I willingly,not under orders will stay this way
In love with you for eternity
Mi Amor.


Tuesday, September 14, 2010


(This was written for a girl whose father poured acid over her face and body when she was 10 months old)

No matter how beautiful
is that Gumamela you're attaching
lovingly on my ears, sister
I will never be like you.

Look at me from head to foot
I am wrapped with the hatred
every ugly thing that could latch onto
the very nerves of our father

Somehow he has still a little love left
to keep me alive and live
like a monster,
Obviously not like you...

Sometimes when I gaze in the mirror
the thought of living normally
carries my hopes away
to the unknown depths of solitude

I try to see what is not there
something that is not what the reflection reveals
and the smile that seems so distant

Under the lashes of my eyes
is a picture of my heart's desire
A father that tells her daughter
"you shouldn't be sad because i love you".

Hold my hand sister and feel
my pulse racing with my heartbeat
Mind swamped with cold treatment

Hold tight sister and let down the fog
The bitterness and shame Dad had bestowed me
after he poured the acid on my face and body
when i was ten months old.

Feel me sister,
let our pulses blend, like real gold
Although I am not like you...

The sea of perception yawns like hell
Every time it sees me...
Me and my ogre-like self...

Because i am not like you
and i will never be.

Friday, September 10, 2010


(This was based on a true story told by an abused girl named Steph)


As i've watched the little flowers bloom
Thine be the gladness and mine be the doom
In solitude,the memories revived
The diabolical and grievous hell i had survived.

It all started when i was five
All the heavenly things and the earth were alive
Not until my mother pass away
Then an infinite feeling of inferno stirred me.

The misery and degredation entwined
Hobble all things with monstrousness behind
As the atrocious whispers float in the hill
My brother stand next to me,naked and still.

Father commanded him to stroke his snake
And if i refuse he smack my bottom and raped me himself
All the crystal and marble ive treasured suddenly break
Worst was my brother enjoyed to repeat it on quick.

I battled as ive crossed the thread of suffering
I had drowned my fears to the light approaching
CHILDLINE came and rolled the black clouds
My father was jailed but my travail ever growls loud.
(This poem was written after i read STEPH'S story.How horrible she had gone through in the hands of his father and brother,she courageously speak out in the Child Abuse Effects.)

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Hong Thai Bus Hostage Siege Tragic Ending

Oftentimes i write biting cuts,
Wounds without any trace of blood
Hidden in the shadows of emptiness
Underneath the skyline of scolding sky.

But as the air tightens on this 23rd of August
I know it''ll be different

In our little flat which we called home
Antipathy bubbles in the air
Our tired eyes from sailing all day
Never blink for a moment
Stewed to the scene played on the TV's screen.

The people from the land that adopted me
Were chained to the mournful hymns of the night;
Gunfires from M16 riffle burn the small palings of hope
Left on the edge of their doom.

Oh people whom I've come to love
I can hear your heartwrenching wails
I can feel the trembling of your nerves
Across the miles,through sharp winds.

Oh people of my beloved home,
Greetings to the one who shares the cup of agony with me,
I am here alone,loved and accepted by the blood
The common blood of the ones murdered by the man,
The son of the motherland which nurtured me.

Are you feeling the shame too
On how the uniformed men acting dross for hours?
Have you suddenly felt the changing of colors
From vibrant to gray to black?

Perhaps you would...
We would...
The whole world would...
As we watch how the victim;
The poor soul collapses on the left front door
How the bullet unlock the handcuff
That chained him there...

Should we sigh,moan or lament
To the bloody end of the hostage siege?

Oh tragedy,you are like rocks that cruelly rebuff
The aeonian flow of life's waves

Such sufferance slip into coma
Any heart i bet would agree
When you saw the immeasurable pain
On the tip of her lips
In every movement of her eyelids,
A woman,widowed
A mother now daughterless
A light of the hause,without a son to light up with
Because he is in the ICU,battling for life and death.

In a blink of an eye,Nine lives lost
Eagles soar high to wipe the copper cheeks of heaven
But its deep scar constantly drips the vital fluid
Bare to the eyes of the intrusive world

The root of contrtemps remains unknown
Had perished with the ghost of the captor

And the mystery of the tragedy
Awefully remains wodunit
Leaving a fatal wound to the most.

Friday, August 27, 2010


In every angles and curves

of the silent mountains

rest many tales

waiting to be told

And in its every shade

lies the shadows,

the stories of people

yet to unfold

Mine is one among the many

an ordinary biography,unnoticed

Oftentimes i caught myself

writing a journal of scathing emptiness,

drudging myself in my emmolient cave.

Each rocks and curves

were made up of prison cells with nippy windows

Like all mortals,i've been there

I've seen the birth of flowers in the morning

and witnessed the falling of its petals

in the drunkenness of the night

Midnights were the reasons for my untimely death

The shadows turned black and became one with the darkness

I can hear my sighs inside me

My heavy footsteps on the whim

Mine is a world of penance,sacrifice and work...

and wrods are my companion,

the glow in the dark to my bleary heart

to survive the...

yet another tormented nights full of cries.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Gone to the Abyss

Of this world's stage in which we stay
The dakness is pleading to grow
Leading me to the dark invading sea
No more courage left to show.

I've scream my pleas million times
And more than i could remember
To the deaf ears of happiness
Yet the more i try,heartache rear.

How virtue stand still in me
Is something so hard to maintain
Dysphoria reduced to dust my bravery
Where a little smile is tough to gain.

A canvas at the sullied horizon
Mountains meet the unilluminated sky
It coincided with my heavy emotion
I envisioned,i'll untimely die.

I'm now blinded to the beauty of existence
A lifeless individual among ruin and ash
Alchemized by the pull of extreme penitence
Gone to the abyss in a lightning's flash.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

The Betrayal

No matter how I battled this feeling
Every minute still is a torture.

My tale was nothing
but full of false;
A flowing river of faults.

Sometimes i pause and ponder
What is wrong with me?

I sought for happiness
and it was my graveyard

that i've found.

I fell upon the torny web
of betrayal and lies.

I wanted to scream
but the pain is too much
until I detached myself
to the world I once called paradise.

What else was left on this pen of mine
When all the words already melted
inside me..

He killed me...
He killed every flame of desire in my heart
and all the courage to bring out my best.

The ache locked me in a limbo where
I cant hear a word
Or a song that will remind me of
A world full of Judas.

What error have I done?
Why all the fragrance of summer
were consumed by the heat of deceit?

He lied,
He betrayed me...

All I want is a love that flows like a waterfall
And everytime I see a couple
I break down and cry...

He made me believed in a false love...
He lied,
He betrayed me...

He killed me.

Friday, August 6, 2010

A Little Less of Us that You Should Know ( from the heart of a Domestic Helper)

This is a little less of Us
That you should/need to know
When unlawfulness surpass
Our insignificancy grow.

Praise the constructor of the bridge
Where we could temporily place
Flattened boxes by its edge
And rest our worn-down face.

Will your thoughts dawdle
On the threads  of hotness
Lacing the afternoon fable
"Us and the cause,effect of prejudice"?

Look at us right here
Isn't this a valid evidence?
No descent place to stay that's fair
Despite this country's opulence.

We,Filipinos,Sri Lankans
Indonesians and Nepalese
As equinox draws close-at-hand
We sore nigh the changing trees.

These and countless more
Stuff that you should know
Mr. Harbinger of summer!
I uttered it at last,whew!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

The Secrets of My Heart (The pains of an orphaned child)

Even though

my yearning hands
were under someone’s aegis,
i can still sense

The cold steel bars
that block the window
were warmed by my palms
every time I stay there for hours
thinking of myself and my Mom,
my Dad and I

a tragedy separates us
for time indefinite

When I am alone
I sense their presence
like diluted tendrils
meddling my doleful heart.

I often close my eyes
and listen to my cry
that thread upon
the labyrinth road
from where I stand
towards heaven.

I miss something;
a parents’ love, touches, hugs
that I only experience in dreams

Sometimes my desire is so great
that wanes the distance
between my reality and my reverie

and when I open my eyes
emptiness hits me…
My daily nightmare…

The secrets of my heart
I hide from the world
except from the cold steel bars
of this orphanage window
beneath the concealing
aged mango tree;
the witness of my adversity.

THE FORTUNELESS ONE (Experience of the underprivileged-the beggarly way of giving birth)

Fortuneless ,less fortunate,beggarly weak!
where will you pick the stick of hope
under this godforsaken clouds of life?
How could you survive its briery slope?

I wonder...

As your mind wonder to yonder
Have you raciocinate the way
to pay your hospital bills?

Don't cry luckless one
when you think of your bridegroom

The cow!
Where is he now?
Drunk as a skunk
in the dry field of empty stars...
Gone with the unseen figures
when Judas spilled the sawdust
one boozy night.

Look at your son by your side
Does he give you fear?
Or the idea of having him
stirs your brain...

Your poor verdant son
wrap in his Dad's old shirt
Not a plain white cloth was prepared
to welcome him in this world
Pretty pitiful,isnt it?

Regrets,fears,pains ran reeling wild...
long painful hours twist your mind
to a scenery only psychos can define...

Riverberation of hallow promises
gulping,roaring in your ears.

Politicians,NGO's psalming their plans
but help a little and mostly do none
of their promises until it will be forgotten
and leave you rotten
in the hospital for months.

Lie down next to your son,ill-fated one
Rest your wailing soul,
open your eyes and look around

the beds...there are dozen of beds
with weeping women like you,
the underprivileged...
See!?...You are not alone.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Poverty's Grosteque Ring of Violence


Airyn Lentija

The scent of cold winds
on the harsh, high plateau
and on our house
have a thing in common:
the longing for a loving touch.

My mother once lived
within mountains...
suffered emptiness.

She hugged
a blanket of the night
with chilling breeze
and survived alone...

Now she's in her thirties
and has a son;
Me, old enough
to realize pain
and understand hate.

When I was ONE,
hospitals became my home...
I had colds,
and often I fell,
cut myself
and swallowed objects
like magicians did
because my mother
didn't bother to care.

I slept, ate
and played on the floor


I reached TWO
I forced myself
to take a shower
on my own

I lived with a cellphone
next to me
so I could phone her
when I awake.

At THREE I know how
to make myself a milk
and kick myself out
of the house so I could
beg food from peers
because nothing was left
for me to eat.

I never refuse to learn
from anyone...
though my mother often shouts at me,
spanks me...treated me wildly at home.

that was she.
Why is that?

My mother
who is now holding
a university degree
learnt to live
in solitude,
known no loving touch
of a mother's love.

Maybe that's why
she never loved me...
comforted me...

but I am her son
and I longed
to hug her tight;
She is my mom.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010



I sit silently near the window
Promises of hope arch above the tall tress
extending to the hazy horizon...

Only feeling of emptiness left...
crystal pearls racing on my cheeks
from my worn-out mourning eyes.

What's the use  of those promises I see,
when trust was murdered inside of me?

Words became plain,hallow,
made up of dusty smoke,
easily blown by the wind,

I would/should never bank on any word
that I hear anymore.

He liquidate the once tough,
solid foundation of my subtlety.

He whom I had entrusted my heart
never teasure it...
furthermore put it in a plastic pedestal;
a platform of fragmented fantasies.

Whence could I hold,
to stop sinking deep,
everyday-i'm drowning slowly.

Occurence came so fast,furiously
that I wasn't prepared

For hours that I sit here
beside the window
recalling the "what we used to have".
I surmise I had given my all.

and there is no word to ease
the tormenting emotion i'm feeling...
remembering the way he treated me

So low...
He threw me away so easy
inspite of my genuine love
Never in my synthetic nightmares
I imagined a man wield me this way

I,who was valued,loved,and cared
by the people who know me
couldnt  believe what fate has done.

pieces of me,wrecked by what I thought
an incomparable love,lay helplessly
in the periphery of dakness...

I wanted to scream but the pain smothered my voice
until I cannot speak...

I wanted to write but each world stabs my heart
recalling the price,the treatment I got in return
for giving my heart wholeheartedly.....

This is unfair...
It is so unfair...

After bestowing all my understanding
not a love that is symbiotic and
reciprocal I got in return...

Hence he showed  me
how LOW i am-
The sum of my prosaic self for him...

For one shining instant,
I was lost...
the darkness is vast..

and there in its belly
I found myself again...

No longer seeing my worth....
As a woman.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Verdict : Stoning

It was a perfect summer day
the sunlight suits word by word
chord by chord-
the songs that was aired on TV;
the women singers sang accompanied with guitars.

On the other side of the world
parallel to where I was
the moon wept silently.

After the stars die away like a dream-that night
a new morn destined to mourn
and no wonder can betide-
another wonman will die-of stoning.

The dust on the cell walls trembled
on the air as the man spoke to her
the vedict: "...and you will be stoned to death."

She...was mocked,sentenced-
an adulterer...

One drop of nervous rises
until it slowly grew...
consumed the core of her soul
making her lesser than a mole
inside that dark prison room.

The sad song of her heart plays-
she might be begging to the face of time
to stop...who knows...

I wonder what was in the edge
of her scared-dimmed eyes...
Could it be the picture of her family?
her children...?
or a moment of her precious moments
packed in a glance of deep sorrow.

Oh woman torn before the world's eye
the time had finally came...

She was dragged out of cell...
dressed in white,chained...
Her head covered with white cloth
that hid her tears when
she was ditched up to her chest.

Not far distant was a pile of stones
not so big and not so small...

One man picked and start to lead
the throwing of stones into her he head
No one stop until the blood
continously drops from her crown
that sways backward everytime
she was hit by a stone...

Her final gasp of air...
'twas when the sun growl to the birds,
they took her out of the hole
and laid...on the sand...
D E A D...

and on the other side of the earth
was a perfect summer night...

People were feasting the finest fruits of the earth
opposite to what will happen to the other side of the globe
next night...

when the moon weeps silently.

Friday, July 23, 2010

Unsent Letter (poem)

I watch your photos every minute
and talk to you in silence
Time tells me you can't hear me
because you're gone maybe gone in one of its ticks but
not in every beat of my heart.

I miss you terribly...

I'm well...
it only hurts...
when I breath...

thinking of you;
the one i believed
my soul mate.

When you came into my life
i told myself i would
love you and never
will I forsake you.

You were my best friend,
my dream come true..
my everything...

until yesterday you said,
"Us is finished."

It unfolds the truth about
how you really feel inside-
You never really loved me.

It was easy for you to leave
without saying to me eye to eye
the word "goodbye"

My life has changed at that very moment
I forget the works i need to do...
i found myself on the floor,
crying hard..yelling..why???

I am alright...
it only hurts...
when I breath and
revive the time
you promised
to take good care of my heart

You've taught me how to value myself
the moment you put me on pedestal
if only I knew,last tuesday night
would be our last night together
I should have held you tight...

Now i'm back again...
to the place where you once took me...

whence could I mend
this bruised heart
when it feels like
it can't love again?

The grief i am feeling
is unending.

The Dark Tableau

The night I meet you
I love you in ways more
than one
I have recognize the essence of my
life,I have come across
a world that's ethereal,
thanks to you.

I evermore envision our love
won't last...

This is a melancholic parting...

My love,wherever you are
I hope you are happy with your decesion...

and me,here I am

How can I consign to oblivion?
How can I start over...

You wont have the idea of my life,
falling apart...

I know I cant have you back
and I wont be seeing you for the rest of my life.

carry me back to the sunlights and
nights we had...

and the time you took dim view
of my love's intention for you
and left...

The silence reminds me of all the

I will be suffering in silence
'til silence give up and
ditch me too...

but my love,i wont stop loving you.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Black Demise

I gaze in the murky skyline,
I remember the Night,we had walked
and experienced its enchantiing powers
I felt the assurance in your eyes
that tells me to believe in love.

And in every point in time,I
dive to the honesty of your words
Now i couldnt look straight
to the somber horizon
because my love...

You are not here
and will never be with me again
It's only me and my broken heart
If only you will feel
the pain in every cries when I think of you,
the words in my heart that remains unspoken
But my love,you are not here.

I wish you'll try to close your eyes
and listen to the desire of your heart
eventhough the pains blocked my heart
and the wall of our seperation is thick,
I never stop thinking and loving you

if you found someone who loves you
makes sure that she'll stay until the end of time
because my heart will be torn apart
If i will know you're not being cared and loved.

My next days will be darker than tonight
knowing that I wont be able to wake up in your arms
My cold palms slowly wipe my tears
In a glimpse of Us that will never be again...

Here i am wandering in a serpentine road
emotionally and mentally beaten
Feeling and counting my salted wounds at 26

I decided to stay away and perished
 in the clouds of painful existence.

My Dying Romance

Love is a sphere
it never ends;
and when the feeling is right
I breath him again and again

Two hearts designed
to be as one and then

when confusion comes
it drives me like insane

I had given my best
but then...

Im not the one he wished for him...

It was two hearts so perfect
like nothing could come in between

but then...

he was gone...
never care to see my tears

If i drown myself in misery tonight
and douse my heart in livid ebony skies

will my tears stop to fall?

.....I love him with my all.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Glimpse of Althea's Yesterday

(the battle against Dengue Fever-true story)

As daylight starts to wane
so as the strenght in her eyes
No more voice could be heared
from what was once a pinkish lips
that turned into a deathly sallow.

Ebon clouds seems so strong,
coating the vastness of heaven
Skyline to skyline looks like
no dimutive ray of light to be seen.

She started to puke and excrete
copper-colored vital fluid and
her mother that held her dearly
silently scream inside at her guise;
swollen muscles,pale face...ailing.

Her blood platelet counts drop
From hospital to hospital they travel
to save her precious life.
The poor litte girl Althea...
fighting with her best to live.

Night descends slowly
and every minute that pass was

a torture to the hearts of her family.
Will she make it?
The doctor said it was a fifty-fifty chance.

Sweat mixed with nervous rise
permeating the air of the corridor
outside the crowded Emergency Room
The long hours of the evening
wrapped everyone in its bejeweled onyx cloak.

Such strength shrink
in the transcendental darkness
As series of test was being conducted
lively voices stumble...sweet words
invades the thoughts of many...
A glimpse of Althea's yestersday...

A cheerful Althea completely different
from the girl lying on the stretcher
The moment was...falling...losing...
until...the cockcrowing came and
Althea's blood platelets

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 50

The lights fall
taken away by the darkness
kaleidoscopic images of
blissful events
and beneficent people
flow in constant stream;
a train of colorful moments
changing levels
with every little twist
of latent cerebration.

My mettle glows,rises...
perplexing emotion cascaded
in every atom of my nerves,
sending quivers to the sheets;
a silent witness to passion.

An irrisistable fire ablaze
in a second that
your elbow ignites in mine...
soultry whispers
filled the night...
in every torrid kisses,
pungent touches,
fiery strokes...

two lusciuos bodies
burning fervor,
emitting love,

under the metaphorical heaven,
another heavenly,
and psychedelic moment
has been added
to my cognizance.

Monday, July 19, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 49

What else could I do to prove the depths of the love i have for you?

I would willingly jump in a troubled river,neglect the great risk of hitting the big stones that creates small and big waves,wherein its sound ruins the deafining silence of the sorroundings.

I would lovingly hold you andpull you up,rescue you from drowning in a muddy water.

In the name of our love,I will risk my life,shed my blood if needed,to hold hope,peace and happiness in my hands and offer to you...for the wolrd to see that beyond your loving smiles,beyond your saddest sighs...beyond words is my undying love for you.

Friday, July 16, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 48

Branches canopied the road
where I stood
beneath the binding path
from my heart to yours;
infinite love,never to part-

Silvered tears etching daggers down my face
My very soul quakes
thinking of your honeyed words
turned to.....anger.

Do I still have the courage to fight?
Should I drop everything and leave?

Time drifts.....
Slated clouds amass
covering the warming solar light.
I struggled to rise from the salted streams
In a twist of fate
You are so cold..Frigid...
is leaving me.....

I gaze to the periwinkle sky
A sudden gust of wind cleansed my mind
Eyes closed,soul opened...
i surrender to the feeling...

No,I wont give up
I'll fight for our love.....

Warm embraces of words take flight
Pinprick light of hope appears
as my prayers reached the ears of fate.

Both my heart and soul,I trust you to hold...
landscape shifts,brilliant colors gracing trees...
It's perfect and touches me deep
the first thing in the morning,
You beg.....

me to take you back,
me for you to love me next to God
as your young and naughty wife,

to bask me in your shimmering glow
and be worshipped by you every moment
as your Princess Silly Goose...

Ours is an infinite love,
never to part~

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 47

A light breeze dances over my arms
awash in sunlight's pale glow

your picture tuck the lock in my heart,
your soft,sweet voice lingering in my ears...
creating stray curl to brush my cheek,

The first feeling of pleasure traced along my soul
awakening me to the miracle of your heart,
mind and body entwined with mine.

Have you really found me?...
Or am I just dreaming?

Does true soul consuming,dream inspiring love really exist?
A love that flows unconditionally?
A love you can feel renewing you like roses on bloom?

Or is love just an illusion?
A barren emotion consisting of lost dreams
and unfound futures?

Here in the plain window
where i rest my arms,
my mind is so confused.

They say Love is more than just a word,
it should be a way of life.....
Love experienced right should never be painful.

But the kind of love im feeling right now
is the one that makes me feel im just anyone...
you are walking away from me again-

Love at this very moment is very painful.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 46

The carnation lips
creates serenading sound,
sweet hummings;
little angels songs
i hear at dawn.

Cheerubs were singing
with wings spread out,
heads up and with smiling eyes
to heaven.

I move a little to feel,
to prove if its real.

While my eyes were still close,
my ears were clapping
to a soft whispers of gentle air-
then a kiss-
and a good morning.

The minute i open my eyes,
i saw him-the love of my life,
with a smile that could erase the word 'catastrophe'.

How fortunate I am to wake up in his arms!
To be held by him tightly,
is one of my greatest fantasies.

I wonder what's behind his stares,
his laugh,
his sighs...

as i lie next to him,

He might be thinking of me with him,
dreaming of me with him...
from today and the rest of our lives
T O G E T H E R...

like what i am thinking
at this very moment
as i lie next to him...

and kiss him good morning.