Friday, July 23, 2010

Unsent Letter (poem)

I watch your photos every minute
and talk to you in silence
Time tells me you can't hear me
because you're gone maybe gone in one of its ticks but
not in every beat of my heart.

I miss you terribly...

I'm well...
it only hurts...
when I breath...

thinking of you;
the one i believed
my soul mate.

When you came into my life
i told myself i would
love you and never
will I forsake you.

You were my best friend,
my dream come true..
my everything...

until yesterday you said,
"Us is finished."

It unfolds the truth about
how you really feel inside-
You never really loved me.

It was easy for you to leave
without saying to me eye to eye
the word "goodbye"

My life has changed at that very moment
I forget the works i need to do...
i found myself on the floor,
crying hard..yelling..why???

I am alright...
it only hurts...
when I breath and
revive the time
you promised
to take good care of my heart

You've taught me how to value myself
the moment you put me on pedestal
if only I knew,last tuesday night
would be our last night together
I should have held you tight...

Now i'm back again...
to the place where you once took me...

whence could I mend
this bruised heart
when it feels like
it can't love again?

The grief i am feeling
is unending.

The Dark Tableau

The night I meet you
I love you in ways more
than one
I have recognize the essence of my
life,I have come across
a world that's ethereal,
thanks to you.

I evermore envision our love
won't last...

This is a melancholic parting...

My love,wherever you are
I hope you are happy with your decesion...

and me,here I am

How can I consign to oblivion?
How can I start over...

You wont have the idea of my life,
falling apart...

I know I cant have you back
and I wont be seeing you for the rest of my life.

carry me back to the sunlights and
nights we had...

and the time you took dim view
of my love's intention for you
and left...

The silence reminds me of all the

I will be suffering in silence
'til silence give up and
ditch me too...

but my love,i wont stop loving you.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

The Black Demise

I gaze in the murky skyline,
I remember the Night,we had walked
and experienced its enchantiing powers
I felt the assurance in your eyes
that tells me to believe in love.

And in every point in time,I
dive to the honesty of your words
Now i couldnt look straight
to the somber horizon
because my love...

You are not here
and will never be with me again
It's only me and my broken heart
If only you will feel
the pain in every cries when I think of you,
the words in my heart that remains unspoken
But my love,you are not here.

I wish you'll try to close your eyes
and listen to the desire of your heart
eventhough the pains blocked my heart
and the wall of our seperation is thick,
I never stop thinking and loving you

if you found someone who loves you
makes sure that she'll stay until the end of time
because my heart will be torn apart
If i will know you're not being cared and loved.

My next days will be darker than tonight
knowing that I wont be able to wake up in your arms
My cold palms slowly wipe my tears
In a glimpse of Us that will never be again...

Here i am wandering in a serpentine road
emotionally and mentally beaten
Feeling and counting my salted wounds at 26

I decided to stay away and perished
 in the clouds of painful existence.

My Dying Romance

Love is a sphere
it never ends;
and when the feeling is right
I breath him again and again

Two hearts designed
to be as one and then

when confusion comes
it drives me like insane

I had given my best
but then...

Im not the one he wished for him...

It was two hearts so perfect
like nothing could come in between

but then...

he was gone...
never care to see my tears

If i drown myself in misery tonight
and douse my heart in livid ebony skies

will my tears stop to fall?

.....I love him with my all.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

A Glimpse of Althea's Yesterday

(the battle against Dengue Fever-true story)

As daylight starts to wane
so as the strenght in her eyes
No more voice could be heared
from what was once a pinkish lips
that turned into a deathly sallow.

Ebon clouds seems so strong,
coating the vastness of heaven
Skyline to skyline looks like
no dimutive ray of light to be seen.

She started to puke and excrete
copper-colored vital fluid and
her mother that held her dearly
silently scream inside at her guise;
swollen muscles,pale face...ailing.

Her blood platelet counts drop
From hospital to hospital they travel
to save her precious life.
The poor litte girl Althea...
fighting with her best to live.

Night descends slowly
and every minute that pass was

a torture to the hearts of her family.
Will she make it?
The doctor said it was a fifty-fifty chance.

Sweat mixed with nervous rise
permeating the air of the corridor
outside the crowded Emergency Room
The long hours of the evening
wrapped everyone in its bejeweled onyx cloak.

Such strength shrink
in the transcendental darkness
As series of test was being conducted
lively voices stumble...sweet words
invades the thoughts of many...
A glimpse of Althea's yestersday...

A cheerful Althea completely different
from the girl lying on the stretcher
The moment was...falling...losing...
until...the cockcrowing came and
Althea's blood platelets

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 50

The lights fall
taken away by the darkness
kaleidoscopic images of
blissful events
and beneficent people
flow in constant stream;
a train of colorful moments
changing levels
with every little twist
of latent cerebration.

My mettle glows,rises...
perplexing emotion cascaded
in every atom of my nerves,
sending quivers to the sheets;
a silent witness to passion.

An irrisistable fire ablaze
in a second that
your elbow ignites in mine...
soultry whispers
filled the night...
in every torrid kisses,
pungent touches,
fiery strokes...

two lusciuos bodies
burning fervor,
emitting love,

under the metaphorical heaven,
another heavenly,
and psychedelic moment
has been added
to my cognizance.

Monday, July 19, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 49

What else could I do to prove the depths of the love i have for you?

I would willingly jump in a troubled river,neglect the great risk of hitting the big stones that creates small and big waves,wherein its sound ruins the deafining silence of the sorroundings.

I would lovingly hold you andpull you up,rescue you from drowning in a muddy water.

In the name of our love,I will risk my life,shed my blood if needed,to hold hope,peace and happiness in my hands and offer to you...for the wolrd to see that beyond your loving smiles,beyond your saddest sighs...beyond words is my undying love for you.

Friday, July 16, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 48

Branches canopied the road
where I stood
beneath the binding path
from my heart to yours;
infinite love,never to part-

Silvered tears etching daggers down my face
My very soul quakes
thinking of your honeyed words
turned to.....anger.

Do I still have the courage to fight?
Should I drop everything and leave?

Time drifts.....
Slated clouds amass
covering the warming solar light.
I struggled to rise from the salted streams
In a twist of fate
You are so cold..Frigid...
is leaving me.....

I gaze to the periwinkle sky
A sudden gust of wind cleansed my mind
Eyes closed,soul opened...
i surrender to the feeling...

No,I wont give up
I'll fight for our love.....

Warm embraces of words take flight
Pinprick light of hope appears
as my prayers reached the ears of fate.

Both my heart and soul,I trust you to hold...
landscape shifts,brilliant colors gracing trees...
It's perfect and touches me deep
the first thing in the morning,
You beg.....

me to take you back,
me for you to love me next to God
as your young and naughty wife,

to bask me in your shimmering glow
and be worshipped by you every moment
as your Princess Silly Goose...

Ours is an infinite love,
never to part~

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 47

A light breeze dances over my arms
awash in sunlight's pale glow

your picture tuck the lock in my heart,
your soft,sweet voice lingering in my ears...
creating stray curl to brush my cheek,

The first feeling of pleasure traced along my soul
awakening me to the miracle of your heart,
mind and body entwined with mine.

Have you really found me?...
Or am I just dreaming?

Does true soul consuming,dream inspiring love really exist?
A love that flows unconditionally?
A love you can feel renewing you like roses on bloom?

Or is love just an illusion?
A barren emotion consisting of lost dreams
and unfound futures?

Here in the plain window
where i rest my arms,
my mind is so confused.

They say Love is more than just a word,
it should be a way of life.....
Love experienced right should never be painful.

But the kind of love im feeling right now
is the one that makes me feel im just anyone...
you are walking away from me again-

Love at this very moment is very painful.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 46

The carnation lips
creates serenading sound,
sweet hummings;
little angels songs
i hear at dawn.

Cheerubs were singing
with wings spread out,
heads up and with smiling eyes
to heaven.

I move a little to feel,
to prove if its real.

While my eyes were still close,
my ears were clapping
to a soft whispers of gentle air-
then a kiss-
and a good morning.

The minute i open my eyes,
i saw him-the love of my life,
with a smile that could erase the word 'catastrophe'.

How fortunate I am to wake up in his arms!
To be held by him tightly,
is one of my greatest fantasies.

I wonder what's behind his stares,
his laugh,
his sighs...

as i lie next to him,

He might be thinking of me with him,
dreaming of me with him...
from today and the rest of our lives
T O G E T H E R...

like what i am thinking
at this very moment
as i lie next to him...

and kiss him good morning.

A Love Letter to Stewart 45

a thousand rays
with different shades
of lights
burst from my eyes
to unite the lines,
shimerring straight strings
of gold and red
from your loving eyes-
friday afternoon at the veranda.

You and I finally free
to drink some wines
to play chess
to watch movies
to laugh
to giggle...

to command the wind to carry
our I LOVE YOU'S to each other,

to finally taste how it is like to be
and hugged again...
to be loved.

The radiant cotton balls in the sky
laugh as they slowly glides
on the marble white roof of the earth...

Heaven rejoices with us my love,
can you see it?
Can you feel it?

The beauty of the love we've found
is amazing...

It's real.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

A Love Letter to Stewart 44

The familiar scent
I inhale everytime
the gentle lines of gold
peeps through my window
to great me a pleasant morn
is as sweet as the scent of Dendrobiums,
then comes the melodious voice
that lingers in my heart,
soothes my very soul,
twist and forge all the wrongs
that dwell in my system
to become a glowing lines of white,
bewitching the dawn.

My delightful days
starts and ends with you my love.
And from the black limbo where I used to live,
You lead me the way to Eden.

A Love Letter to Stewart 43

If I could hold you in my arms right now
Will you close your eyes?
Will you comfortably lie your head on my chest?

If I could look at you with all my heart right now
Will you/would you giggle babe?
Will you stare at me with contentment?

The sky that covers our world
is a different blue my love
It preserves the joy we felt when we hug,
when we silently sit and hear our heartbeats,
when we ran out of breath after a long,steamy kiss.

Oh,if I could hold you in my arms right now
I know the color of our sky will be a different blue

It's been TEN YEARS since I locked my arms around your neck
(Although TEN YEARS means TWO DAYS AGO)
'til next century my love (Where a century means three days from now)

                                    M          I            S          S       
                                                                                            Y         O         U!

A Love Letter to Stewart 42

In the middle of the restless night,
thousand steps away from Fotan,
a voice beckons me
so loud and clear.

Its midnight here
but the dark clouds crawl
to give way to the burning orange light.

Cresendo of color,
the sounds of nature
contained within
his hypotic voice.

I whisperd back,
to the lapping waves
of the mountain's wind.

And along the road,
to the buildings
down the river of Shatin,
it carries my reply
back to Fotan,
to the heart of my ever loving John.

I close my eyes
What a lovely goodnight!

His soft and sweet voice
stays in my heart and mind

And until now.....I am listening to it still.

A Love Letter to Stewart 41


My sightly Stewart,
think of the wonderful ways
a hearfelt words
can change our worlds.

When dysphoria strikes,
how fortunate are our hearts
to have its constant comforter-
our boundless love for each other.

I have the knowledge of your sighs
and familiar of your dillemas
but my stunning Stewart,
I beseech not much,
A little is more than enough...

Yes,my handsome Stewart,
A little effort would mean the world to me,
can paint serene scenes and make it enduring.

Are you aware of your effect on me?
Or how you change the condition of my heart?

All because of loving you,my stewart.